Why do dwarfs smile when they are running through a field? Because the grass tickles their balls!

Wallmart greeter

A woman walks into a wallmart with her two kids in tow she is yelling at them and is quite upset
The wallmart greeter says welcome to wallmart I see you have twins they are precious
The woman turns to him and says what are you blind they are 9 and 5 why would you think they were twins
the greeter says well I just didn’t think somebody would sleep with you twice

Eskimo takes his snowmobile to a mechanic. Mechanic looks up to the eskimo and says, “Looks like you blew a seal.” The eskimo wipes around his mouth and replies “No no! It’s just ice!”